LEARN HOW-TO CROCHET WITH CLARE
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Crochet humor :)

25/9/2016

 
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What did the little crocheter dress up as for Halloween? Answer: Captain Hook, of course! 


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What happened to the cat who ate a ball of yarn? Answer: She had mittens! 

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Why do spiders spin webs? Answer: No one's ever taught them to crochet!

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​What do you call the steps it takes to learn to crochet?Answer: A chain of events! 


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What did the invisible man make when he learned to crochet?Answer: An afghan like you've never seen! 

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What did the crocheter say when her doily thread got tangled up?Answer: "I guess that's what happens when bad strings happen to good people"! 
​
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Wool is a favorite material to use in yarn, and everyone knows that wool yarn comes from sheep. But do you know how many sheep it takes to make a whole sweater? Answer: None, because sheep can't crochet!

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What do new knitters and Christmas trees have in common?They both drop their needles a lot!

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A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents. “When we were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily.”

“The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

“Honey,” he said, “that explains the doilies, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”

“Oh,” she said, “that’s the money I made from selling the doilies.”

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A piece of yarn walks into a bar and orders a beer, but the bartender snarls, “We don’t serve your kind here!”. The yarn is forced to leave. While sitting on the curb feeling sorry for himself, the yarn is suddenly hit with a brilliant idea. Working quickly, he ties himself into a knot and unravels his ends. Taking a deep breath, the yarn marches back into the bar and orders a beer.“Hey!” says the bartender. “Ain’t you that piece of yarn I just threw outta here?”“Nope,” replies the yarn, “I’m a frayed knot.”

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So this lady was driving down the highway crocheting as she drove. A highway patrolman noticed her and began pursuit. He drove up next to her car, rolled down his window and said,"pull over!" She replied," no it's a scarf.
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  • Home
  • Patterns
    • Tips & Tricks
    • Blankets
    • Granny squares
    • Applique
    • Babies
    • Bags
    • Buntings
    • Children
    • Flowers & Bows
    • Footwear
    • Hats
    • Granny stitch projects
    • Headband >
      • Adult ninja mask
      • BHD headband
      • Button headband
      • Child ninja mask
      • Cozy headband
      • Crown/ tiara
      • Ear Warmer
      • Easter rabbit headband
      • Easy crochet headband
      • Easy headband with a twist
      • Vintage headband
    • Holidays >
      • Christmas >
        • Christmas bells
        • Mini christmas wreath
        • Gingerbread hat
        • Granny star garland
        • Granny square stocking
        • Mini granny square stocking
        • Reindeer hat
        • Snowflake
        • Snowman applique
      • Easter >
        • Easter basket
        • Easter rabbit headband
      • Valentine's Day >
        • Be my valentine
        • Circle of Hearts
        • Heart
        • Mini heart
      • Halloween >
        • Adult ninja mask
        • Brain hat
        • Child ninja mask
        • Cobweb
        • Easy pumpkin
        • Mummy hat
        • Pumpkin top
        • Pirate hat
        • Pumpkin garland
        • Scary face
        • Witches hat
    • Home >
      • Bag bag
      • Basket
      • Coaster
      • Candle holder cosy
      • Crochet Water Bottle Cover
      • Dish cloth/wash cloth
      • Easy pumpkin
      • Face washer/ flannel edging
      • Face wipe
      • Granny placemat and coaster
      • Heart Valentine's doily/rug
      • Moss stitch dishcloth
      • Pin cushion
      • Pet bed
      • Placemat, coaster and napkin ring
      • Soda can/ coffee cup cozy
      • Shower Loofa Scrubby
      • Teapot cozy
      • Valentine's day cosy
      • Wall hanging
    • Other Crochet >
      • Ears
      • Easy ribbed legwarmers
      • Granny square bookmark
      • Golf club covers
      • Hook roll
      • Hot water bottle cover
      • I cord necklace
      • I cord
      • Lips
      • Necklace
      • Slim mustache
      • Wide mustache
      • Wind Spinner
    • Ponchos & Shawls >
      • Ponchos >
        • Cowl neck poncho
        • Granny stitch poncho
        • Luna poncho
        • Waves poncho / skirt
      • Shawls >
        • Abbie shawl
        • Across the line shawl
        • Bias shawl
        • Bias granny shawl
        • Cakes two to tango shawl
        • Coraline in wine country shawl
        • Down the line shawl
        • Glamorous wrap
        • Granny stitch shawl
        • I love rainbows shawl
        • Jessica Shawl
        • Me shawl
        • Mesh shawl
        • Midnight breeze shawl
        • Stitch Sampler Wrap
        • Treble granny shawl
        • V stitch shawl / scarf
        • Wedding shawl
        • Wider shawl
    • Scarf, Cowl, Gloves & Mittens >
      • Scarf >
        • Beehive scarf
        • Cable scarf
        • Chain stitch scarf
        • Chevron delight scarf, cowl, blanket
        • Cluster V stitch scarf/ blanket
        • Cross stitch scarf
        • Donna"s mistake scarf/ afghan
        • Double ribbed spiral scarf
        • Easy ribbed scarf
        • Granny obsession scarf
        • Granny stitch scarf
        • Lazy cluster scarf
        • Lazy chevron scarf / blanket
        • Moss stitch scarf
        • Spiral scarf
        • Unforgettable scarf
        • Victorian step scarf
      • Cowls >
        • Spiral cowl
        • It's fall y'all
        • Stitch sampler cowl
        • Lazy cluster cowl
        • Easy chain cowl
        • Easy cowl
        • Cosy cowl
        • Easy reversible cowl
        • Granny Stitch Cowl
        • Cross stitch cowl
        • Natalie Cowl
        • Neck warmer and hat in 1
      • Gloves & mittens >
        • Easy fingerless gloves
        • Easy granny square fingerless gloves
        • Knit look fingerless gloves
        • Finger less gloves
        • Mittens newborn to XL adult crochet pattern
    • Wearables >
      • Cardigans
      • Sweaters / jumpers
  • Youtube
  • News
    • Contact Us >
      • FAQ
  • My favourite products